I'm positively giddy with excitement to announce that at long last the Jack Merlot Music Shoppe is finally (almost) online.
Given the awesome power of Open Source software, I simply felt there is no reason why I shouldn't take the reins of this project and use everything I've learned about ecommerce to set up a music store online. I love playing music, love writing and recording songs, and I love being able to share my music with people of all walks of life.
That being said, I have to admit that when I had to hand-letterpress the album covers and cd labels for the last limited edition run of 50 disks last Christmas, I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the tedious nature of laboriously burning and assembling the CDs. (Which is not to say that myself and others haven't thoroughly enjoyed the fruits of our labors, but I digress.)
I know it's really exciting to have something physically available, something tangible, to hold in your hands and put into your CD player, but, really, I suppose this is the twenty-first century now and people are expecting to be able to just point and click their stylus's or mouse flanges at whatever strikes their fancy and load it up into their DVD/MP3/Rumble Pack/Guitars.
And I can relate. I've been a big fan of uploading everything I own to the Internet for many years now. I converted my own (relatively massive) CD collection to high-quality MP3 format almost ten years ago now, and I haven't looked back. It's just really nice to have everything in a small, portable form factor (like a single hard drive, for instance) and especially given the frequency of the times I've moved from apartment to bungalow to house to duplex I can't imagine what a pain in the arse it would have been to have to manage the sorting, boxing, unboxing, storing, and what-have-you of the 2500+ disks in my library.
So, without belaboring the point too much, it gives me great pleasure and no small sense of satisfaction to announce that the Jack Merlot Music Shoppe will be making all of Jack Merlot's finest songworks in digital format for your downloading pleasure.
Isn't that exciting? Well, it is for me, at least. Now, when people ask me about what it is I do with all my copious spare time, I can just point them to the online store and say, "Go, friend, hither towards the digital river, and download the fruits of my loins in purest one-hundred-ninety-two kilobits format, and yea, ye shall know me from whence I have come."
Or something.
On a technical note, I must admit that getting Secure Sockets working on our OpenBSD webserver was actually a lot easier than I had initially feared. I blame our Canuck neighbors to the north for this anomaly. Their clear and concise instructions in the form of the OpenBSD Frequently Asked Questions guide are clearly an aberration of the human condition, and will eventually be obfuscated by some godforsaken PDF file in the future, no doubt.
(I jest, I jest. I fully expect OpenBSD will remain forever inscrutable to both the non-techies and the digerati alike for the forseeable future. Seriously. It's like trying to learn how to fly a helicopter, blindfolded. You've really got to trust your co-pilot. Or Theo de Raadt. Whoever is closer, I guess.)
In any case, so, long story short, I was able to install SSL certificates on our webserver, so there will be a fully secure music shop online somewhere in the vicinity of the Jack Merlot website sometime in the very near future.
I've decided to release some of the vast Jack Merlot catalog for free downloading, but I've also decided to charge for the more recent work to try and recoup the costs of recording, equipment, hosting, mastering, copyrighting, web design, and whatever the hell else it is that makes me a very, very poor man in financial terms. I'm sorry if this offends anyone's sensibilities (I know, whatever, music wants to be free, blah blah blah), but I've got rent to pay over here, kiddo, and I ain't doing this just so you damned kids and your iPods and Zoons 2.0 and What-Have-You can run rampant all over my intellectual properties.
"You goddamned kids, get off my (digital) lawn!", or something to that effect.
So. In any case, like you haven't been waiting for this moment with baited breath and a twinge of guilt in your conscience already, all I can really say, is, well. Your wait is almost over. Maybe.
I mean, soonly, the store will be open. I promise.
Seriously.
Ahem.
There have been some delays, like, primarily timing-wise, I'd like the opening of the online shop to coincide with the release of the results of the RPM Challenge 2009, which I'm totally trying to pretend isn't a giant looming deadline coming towards me like a wrecking ball, threatening the solace of my inner sanctum, nay, of the human condition itself, but, and ahem, again, I digress.
What I'm trying to say is: WATCH THIS SPACE.
COMING MARCH 1ST FOR YOUR PERUSAL AND GENERAL ENJOYMENT:
The highly anticipated new album from Jack Merlot & the Urban Matadors, to be released in the glory that is 192kbps CBR-encoded genuine* Fraunhofer MP3 format, to be available for your listening pleasure ONLY through the magic that is the Jack Merlot Music Emporium & Curiosity Shoppe, at a currently classified location which will soonly be unveiled to you my Fine Reader, and it is with my sincerest gratitude that I wish to thank the following people for helping this all come together, er, at the last minute as it were, through no small fault of their own.
(*genuine pleather, a.k.a. LAME ain't an MP3 codec.)
So, without further ado, I'd like to hear a big round of applause for Jenni Undis, a.k.a. Brie Charmont, a.k.a. Betty Rizzo "73", for enduring the hardships that are the late-night top-secret recording sessions at our underground bunker deep in the heart of south Minneapolis. I promise next time I'll either try to learn to not be nocturnal, or figure out how to change up my meds, or something. Promise.
And another big round of applause for Toby Lucien, a.k.a. that Don Some Slacks guy, nay, not to be mistaken in the wrong sort of light for Dean Moriarty himself, but that finest of the fine, the bassline to my worksong, the mojo to my nixon, my cousin, Nick Christensen. Truly, to have been On the Road with him, as it were, has been both completely awe-inspiring and also somewhat tedious at times, through no small fault of either one of us, as the saying goes. ;-)
For, without those two, who I consider to be (respectively) a modern-day Valkyrie and the Prometheus to my Set', well, not to make it too obscure, (too late), well, anyway... moving right along.
Without whom none of this would exist, but would remain forever a pie-in-the-sky flight of fancy, of the same insubstantial yet undeniable caliber as a late-night cheese-pizza inspired night-gaunt-haunted vision-quest. Easily dismissed in the harsh light of a cold March dawn, but still rather sort of frightening when it's happening to you, especially if you have sensitive digestive issues, perfect pitch, or other assorted pulmonary thrombosis's, or rather, should I say, thrombos-i.
Or something. Hell, let's just make this a mad-lib;
*insert clever metaphor and/or obscure literary reference here.*
In any case, thanks, Jenni and Nick!
For *Everything*.
Also, special thanks to the fine craftsmanship that is the Zen Cart project, of which I am currently enamored.
And, yadda yadda yaddda, thanks, Theo de Raadt & his army.
Thanks, Team MySQL.
Thanks, Team Apache.
Thanks, Team OpenVPN.
Thanks, Team Habari.
and who could forget Team Audacity!?!
Not I, said the fly!
and the beat goes on... and on...
